In case you haven’t noticed, I LOVE Twitter. The microblogging platform has become like a second home for me and I keep TwitterFox open pretty much the entire time I am online.
Whenever I read a tweet that makes me laugh out loud, I favorite it immediately. Then, whenever I am feeling a bit flat, or sense a bad mood coming on, I turn to my favorites list knowing I will be giggling in no time.
Here are some of my favorite Tweets from 2008 (oh and may I add a *Mature Adults Only* rating for some of the following):
1) @pagecrusher When you check in at a Motel 6, refer to it as a “Motel Sex” and add a theatrical wink. The desk clerks LOVE that.
2) @fireland Turns out a two-week vacation to the Ronald McDonald House is not as fun as it sounds. And those kids are TERRIBLE at Jenga.
3) @coplandmj 10p coin exactly the same size as a US quarter. Coffee girl not too smart. Second cup on her majesty.
4) @hotdogsladies Sometimes I won’t follow someone who isn’t following me. Then Karl Lagerfeld and I make fun of poor people and hit each other with our fans.
5) @fireland It’s great that my superpower is the ability to make women sigh with disappointment, but sometimes I wish I could fucking fly instead.
6) @Moltz It’s great to sit back at the end of a long day and relax with a beer and catch up on OH, MY GOD, WE LEFT HANK IN THE IKEA BALL PIT
7) @fireland How much do you have to pay a cop to forget he saw a bloodstained Tickle Me Elmo stuffed with opium? Wikipedia is like zero help over here.
8 ) @ikostar Catsby’s just lost his lunch under the table. He’s blown chunks. Parked a tiger. Ralfed etc. Chundered.
9) @motherwell @bonytoad my ebook was huge in Thailand, especially the golden triangle.
10) @fireland This macaroni necklace my daughter made me tastes like garbage. Fuck this Montessori bullshit.
11) @lonelysandwich Remember the rash of creature horror-comedies that came out in the 80s (Gremlins, Ghoulies, Critters)? That just came out of my dog.
12) @hotdogsladies When the Dr. asks why I think I have undiagnosed ADD, I’ll turn and point toward the internet. And then you guys can all laugh and wave.
13) @sugarrae @streko I’m NOT fucking drinking – are you nuts?
14) @patrickaltoft Using xoom.com for the first time. It’s crap.
15) @MarkDykeman I’m watching CSI. Somebody died. Yawn.
16) @AinsleyofAttack I want a bunch of forensic investigators to use luminol in my bedroom. I’d be like, “Yeah, bitches. That’s right.”
17) @fireland Played golf with my old man this morning and on the fourth tee I accidentally hated his guts since the day I was born.
18) @smartasshat People are insane.
19) @johnweb I always get the hot and the mild sauce at the drive in. They give me 10 packs. Then I don’t use either. I am why people hate Americans.
20) @coplandmj All I want for Christmas is for someone to turn the fuck up and do their job.
21) @cleversimon Kissing her neck, I made her drop a stitch. That’s not a euphemism.
22) @AinsleyofAttack Most likely due to the way we looked after 22 hours on the road, the front desk clerk gave us a room with a handicap shower. We disabled it.
23) @nick Going crazy over this band “TBA.” Every time I think I’m gonna see them perform, they get replaced at the last minute.
24) @fireland Well actually the difference between Helvetica and Arial is pretty glaring if you oh my god this is why I haven’t had sex in twenty months.
25) @nonlinearmind You know what I love about pie? As you eat it, it creates a graph of how much is left.
26) @AmyJane New idea: We skip the private school and use that money to fly in a guest Twitterer each week to homeschool the kid.
27) @Remiel A misguided prankster laced the office water cooler with a small amount of LSD. Trying to get to HR to complain, but being thwarted by bats.
28) @HalfPintIngalls Today was a pretty good day until we got diptheria.
29) @AinsleyofAttack I really just want a women’s magazine to have the headline “Hot Summer Tip: Men Are Assholes.”
30) @meowrey Oh man, I’m sorry I freaked out like that. This coffee is making me super agitated. I asked for a cappuccino, but I think I got an alpacino.
31) @cleversimon Jesus Christ, I drank enough last night to kill Paul Newman. What? Why is everybody looking at me like that?
32) @confession I made it all up. – God
33) @bitchoftheday OH: “Are you eavesdropping bitch?”
34) @DieLaughing I can only remember my sponsors phone number when I’m totally wasted. Let me borrow your cellphone and $100 bucks. Wait right here.
35) @pagecrusher There’s a school bus parked in front of Sassy’s, the strip club. I want to see the permission form for that field trip.
Thanks for the giggles tweeps. Happy tweeting in 2009!
It’s Christmas Eve and I’m sick to death of SEO. Time for some Xmas related fun. Here are six cool Xmas applications designed to distract you from your REAL job today:
Hands up if you’re a Twitterholic. Yes, my hand’s up too. If you love the micro-blogging platform 